51 Jersey Cliches

1. People from NJ use self-depreciating humor.
2. Sarcasms is a birthright.
3. There is a mall in every town.
4. The price of a traffic ticket is equal to a months rent.
5. Teenage clerks at stores say “Thank you, come again” in a sarcastic way and only cause they have to.
6. Everyone loves Springsteen.
7. We speak our mind without restraint.
8. There are no gardens in the Garden State.
9. After going to Ikea, people think they have seen NJ.
10. The beaches have medical needles.
11. The NY Jets play in NJ but use NY as their identity.
12. Fans don’t attend NJ Nets games and as a result the team in moving to NY.
13. NJ is a toxic dump.
14. Benjamin Franklin called NJ “The barrel tapped at both ends,” which referred to NY and Philadelphia.
15. The toxic Avenger originated in Jersey.
16. Everyone is Italian.
17. “Joysie girls”
18. The commute to work is out of state.
19. If you say you are going to “the city” people know you mean NYC and not Jersey City.
20. When your reason to live in NJ is to see the NY skyline.
21. You know someone in the mafia.
22. NJ is the asshole of NY and the armpit of America.
23. The architecture is dull and uninspiring.
24. You’ve never seen the stars in the sky.
25. The smell from the Turnpike and Parkway is more memorable than the landscape.
26. People who are nice to you want something from you.
27. You bitch about traffic but don’t carpool.
28. Your SUV chugs alcohol like you do beer.
29. The beach is called “The Shore.”
30. Breast implants are popular.
31. When you think of Oranges you think of poverty, crime and gangs.
32. You frequent 24-hour diners after binging with your buddies.
33. You know what a “jug handle” is.
34. You’re either a Yankees fan or a Mets fan.
35. There are no self-service gas stations.
36. Z-100 is your favorite radio station.
37. Every teenager wants a tattoo.
38. NJ can’t find a state slogan that resonates…New Jersey: Come See for yourself.
39. Summer is the time to strut your body at the beach.
40. The Statue of Liberty is perceived as part of the NY skyline when it belongs to NJ.
41. The locals are mean spirited.
42. We’ll cut you off on the highway, no matter how small the opening, causing you to crap in your pants.
43. You either get laid a lot or not at all.
44. You wiz past tollbooths chucking 35 cents from your car window into a funnel that counts your change.
45. Sign pollution
46. High taxes
47. Jay & Silent Bob’s comic book store is a tourist destination.
48. Don’t get lost driving in Newark!
49. Soprano jokes
50. Family businesses are put out of business in favor of stores belonging to a chain.
51. When people want to know where you live they ask what exit are you near.


Two possible solutions I’ve been thinking about is doing a blog for NJ that promotes destinations in NJ in an honest and real way. Second, creating a sign system along the Garden State Parkway that would lead residents and tourists to explore exits of NJ they wouldn’t otherwise take.